Princess? Please!: Role Models For Girls in Books, Movies and Life

Maybe your daughter watched Sleeping Beauty at a friend's house. Maybe a classmate came to kindergarten in a princess dress. But somehow, some way, your daughter has developed a princess obsession, complete with glitter, fantasy dresses and ceaseless playacting.

And you're worried. You've tried to show her positive female role models. You've tried to tell her that success comes through persistence and hard work, not dressing up and waiting on a boy. That Prince Charming usually has a boyfriend. That is she works, she can be anything she wants to be. And she wants to be a princess. Next to the awesome power of the Ministry of Truth public relations industry, what can you do?

Or maybe your daughter is a little older. Pretty soon she'll be a teenager, and you're even more worried now. She loves Hannah Montana and dressing up in skimpy clothes. Her idea of "Girl Power" is a shopping trip with your credit card. When she grows up she wants to be a famous singer, movie star, model or something equally intellectual. She's on the internet, and who knows what she sees on that! So what can you do?

Find other parents who feel the way you do. Trust me, they are out there. Talk to other parents on the playground, at school or at after-school programs. Maybe your school's principal feels the way you do. You can start or join a Meetup Group for anti-princess parents. Offer the Anti-Princess Reading List for discussion with your friends.

Next, find out where this stimulus is coming from, and end it. You might need to get rid of the tv, cancel playdates with certain friends, or get rid of some DVDs, books and toys. Remember that your child's health is more important than what other people think of you. Remember that it's not child abuse to cancel the cable. Remind your critics that it's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head, especially if those outposts were placed there in childhood. "But that's censorship!" someone might say. Well, it is, in a sense. You're censoring your child when you don't show them Goodfellas, or serial killer documentaries. You don't let your kids eat cotton candy any time they want. Why shouldn't you get rid of intellectual cotton candy as well?

Last, but certainly not least. Take a few minutes to think who you want your daughter to see as a role model. Would she prefer to emulate a "female prince," like Utena Tenjou, or a "clever sleuth," like Nancy Drew? Maybe she would like to learn about female artists, scientists, or sports players. Don't worry about coming to a conclusion just yet, but plant the question in your mind.

Above all, don't worry. You're not alone. And even if everything in life worth doing is difficult, it's much more difficult to think about it than to do it.

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